I first noticed my health was deteriorating in my late 30’s. I was extremely over weight to the point of obesity. My diet consisted of high calorie and fatty foods. Sugar was the one thing that gave me a euphoric feeling after I would eat it. It was the first thing I would think of when I woke up and the last thing when I went to bed. It was the calm before the storm in terms of an emotional roller coaster.
My illnesses began with light headedness and digestive issues. I went to the Dr. to find out that my blood pressure was extremely high. That started the first of my many medications. My digestive track was not functioning at this point and I was given stimulants to get it moving. I was seeing the Dr. weekly to have my blood pressure checked to make sure the medicine was bringing it down, and to see if the stimulants were working on my digestive track and, if needed, they would prescribe a new one. This went on for a few months.
Then things started to change again. I was put on antibiotics for two weeks out of every month because of flu like symptoms–fever, headache and congestion. I would feel better for two weeks then would be back in bed for ten days until the drugs kicked in. My body was in constant pain.
I desperately needed to lose weight, but the Dr. never suggested a diet change, just more drugs to relieve the symptoms. For most of my life, I struggled with depression, and I was at a crucial point of an all time low. With all of this suffering consuming me, I felt it would be easier to pass on than to get well. This condition continued for nearly eighteen months before moving from Denver, where the altitude added even more stress to my body.
When I arrived at my hometown in Washington State, I felt total exhaustion as I looked at all the boxes to unpack. Fortunately, my mother came over to help me and was shocked when she saw my large box of drugs. None of them were helping me, and I was afraid of the long-term side affects, so I decided to stop taking all of them.
I returned to my massage therapist (also an RN), who knew my body was in desperate need of help. She suggested I see Andrew and Tamara, the founders of “Joy of Healing”. She explained that Andrew was blessed with a special, rare gift as a trance medium, and had a team of spirit healers who worked through him. She also told me that his mediumship was unlike any she had ever viewed, and that his wife, Tamara, had a unique gift of writing with the spirit family. Hearing all of this information, I didn’t hesitate to try this work, I just wanted to get well.
I arrived for my appointment excited and nervous, hoping it would help. Then what came next was like sugar to me. With a broken accent, a gentle, loving voice came through Andrew. The spirit healer, Dr. Robert, proceeded to tell me about all my symptoms and related to me why I was so sick in a matter of a few minutes. He asked me why the doctors had not helped me. I told him I had several tests and was prescribed many drugs. The doctors suspected it was my gallbladder, but I was still sick.
Throughout the session I felt sensations of heat and calmness to my body. I was told I would feel better in a couple of months, but there was one catch. I would not gain the full affect of the energy work if I didn’t change my eating habits. I had such a fear of letting go of my emotional attachment to sugar, but I wanted to feel better and get well, so I agreed to make the necessary changes with my diet that would help me heal.
At this point I knew I had been given a gift. It was the gift of life and it was mine to live. Dr. Robert was “right on” with his projection of my return to health. At the end of two months I was feeling so much better. I had more energy, lost weight, and my digestive track and blood pressure returned to normal. I went back to work and started to enjoy my life.
Three months later I had another session. I experienced more healing for my body and was told that I needed to resolve my emotional issues in order to be completely balanced. My issues were full of anger, depression, and no self confidence, but I was in no hurry to deal with it.
I was raised by alcoholic and non nurturing parents. My mom was a very weak individual who hid behind her bottle; my father was also an alcoholic and a very angry and depressed man. He would go for days, never speaking to any of us, and my mother never stood up to stop this behavior. This is why I used food and especially sugar to soothe my soul from the emotional pain. My love for sugar started at a very young age, and I can remember my mom telling my grandmother to not feed me anymore desserts because I was getting too fat.
I was so afraid to deal with my past, as well as the present. My marriage was in trouble, and I was living a lie with others. I appeared to be a very happy, fun loving person, when in real truth, I would hide behind the walls of my home, feeling depression and loneliness. My unsettling marriage gave me the excuse to start eating the same foods and sugar that had been my emotional crutch throughout my life.
Every time I would fall off the wagon, I would depend on others for my emotional support, instead of relying on myself and becoming honest with all my issues. My anger stemmed from never standing up for myself. My mother may have hid behind her bottle, but I hid behind the false life I had created. I would act like I was happy and content, like I was in control, and yet I knew this was an exaggerated thought, when in fact, my life was empty and depressing, and I felt food was the one thing I could control and use to make me feel better.
Reluctant, I finally made the call to Tamara and made an appointment to have a five-day Intensive to work on my issues. I was so depressed by the time I went. My marriage was in trouble, and my emotions were out of control. I was gaining weight and dwelling in self pity.
When I arrived for my intensive, I was very nervous and anxious about my sessions. Andrew and Tamara greeted me and helped me to be at ease. I felt a sense of freedom to be able to express my feelings and not be judged or criticized. I also felt safe and knew that this work came from a loving environment. My intensive would begin with a spirit healer of the mind, Dr. Gregor.
When my first session began, I started with the issues of my mother and father and worked my way through the rest of my family. I learned how I was weak like my mother. That was painful to hear because I had developed a very hard exterior to protect myself, but wearing this tough exterior was living a lie. By living this way, I would never let anyone get too close to hurt me. I had picked up the silence of my father, so I would just not tell anyone how I felt. If I hurt, I was silent. If I was angry, I was silent. It is very hard on relationships when you’re like this, as nobody trusts you. The saddest moment was when I admitted to myself that I had married someone who was similar to my father and would be as silent as I was except when he drank. I hated alcohol. It had surrounded my childhood, and it was a major part of my adult life.
I had so many made-up fears. I didn’t want anyone to know the real me for fear they would not like me. I was lacking confidence and self worth. In my sessions, I learned how to be more confident in my social arena and how to participate in conversations without fear. I learned how to be patient and not expect immediate gratification, as I was always reaching for the golden ring. I was taught to say what I mean and mean what I say. This was difficult for me since I never told anyone what I really felt. I’ve learned the importance of setting a goal and staying focused, and how people with passions lead a more balanced life instead of sitting idle wondering what to do next. Forgiving another was hard for me because of my anger. Hanging onto the anger from my marriage ending was the most difficult to let go. I realize now that my choices are mine to own and that I am responsible for my own actions.
My time with Dr. Gregor was filled with emotions–lots of tears, laughter and joy, but through all this, I felt so much lighter. One thing that will stay with me forever is when Dr. Gregor expressed to me that I have a huge heart and the wonderful thing is that I use it!
At the end of the my sessions, I felt many things had been released. My mind wasn’t spinning and life just looked brighter. My second gift in my life had been given to me. I knew it was a work in progress, but the start had begun and I finally realized that I could deal with my issues without fear.
I have learned so much from Spirit and Andrew and Tamara. They have taught me how to handle everyday life, with more confidence and less fear. I look back on my life with this spirit family and it has been an amazing journey. I work to stay honest and keep my humility intact as I move forward. Without finding this work I wonder where my life would have gone, and with great love I can say, I didn’t have to find out. I’m so thankful for the events and timing that led me to them. I’m also glad to say I still have my gallbladder with me after all these years and I am not on one drug.
There will never be enough words I can use to describe my love for this work or Tamara and Andrew. They are a team of pure love and strength in their pursuit to help every individual they come into contact with. The passion they have for the work and the desire to see changes in the world and people’s lives has been an incredible gift for me to view. This work is not given enough credit because it may be a little different and misunderstood to some, but for me it was life altering.
Thank you Tamara and Andrew and your Spirit Family, for the love and support all these years.